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ACHALUGO's

The village square where humour, parenting and life experiences hold their meetings.

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mommy diaries

The babies of the babies are growing

My Whatsapp chats are where everything happens, my own 360° lifestyle hub. I have conversations that uplift, I engage with people's fears, we have joyful conversations, and of course, the times that we don't agree. "I am not ready for... Continue Reading →

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How I became an Owl

There are two types of Night people; those who wake up early, and those who stay up late. I have tried for years to reset my body clock. I joke often, that my timetable is an American citizen living in... Continue Reading →

Sometimes, something gotta give

I should be sorry for the moments I am scarce on here, scratch that, I am sorry. I see the accusation in his eyes, even though he doesn't say it, I hug him. I love my father. But I have... Continue Reading →

Twenty five plus

In the year that I turned twenty five, it felt major. I've gotten used to not having parties on my birthday a long time ago. My birthday always fell in lent, infact one year it was Ash wednesday. In the... Continue Reading →

Standing up to parenting Judges

​On page 45 of the parenting book I may never write, you would find paragraphs and paragraphs of this ridiculous behaviour of others. I do not guarantee that you won't always feel pained when your parenting is judged From the... Continue Reading →

Standing up to parenting Judges

On page 45 of the parenting book I may never write, you would find paragraphs and paragraphs of this ridiculous behaviour of others. I do not guarantee that you won't always feel pained when your parenting is judged.  From the... Continue Reading →

The story of the birth video I didn’t make (II)

The story of the birth video I didn't make (I) If you have been pregnant before, you would be no stranger to the advice to get regular sex towards your due date. Ask your doctor or everyone's doctor (google). "I... Continue Reading →

Ten ways to help you manage the home load

In response to my before 5.00am  post a few weeks ago, Ayobami had some comments about not sleeping early no matter how she tried. Half the time, we get mentally worked up trying to choose what's for dinner or what the... Continue Reading →

On period cramps, and why Zambia is right

Zambia recently moved from a Country where it was taboo to talk about women and periods, to making provisions in their Law allowing women to take off one day a month on their periods. They also do not have have... Continue Reading →

The story of the birth video I didn’t make

"What does it look like?" I asked, struggling to find a way to bend over to satisfy my curiosity and stay in the position Midwife Amake had instructed I lay back and resigned to fate, and the contractions. Everyone else... Continue Reading →

“Have a baby, it will be fun” they said

Then I went and had three, and this should be triple fun, applying elementary arithmetics. Fail. Disclaimer: This is not a rant It's 2.45am, and I am being subjected to insomnia under duress. It all began at about 4.00pm, when... Continue Reading →

“I do” and ensuing matters of nakedness

I like being naked. I don't think there is any unit in existence to measure my love for being naked. There is a frenzy with which lovers who haven't been together in a while, shed their clothes -that is the... Continue Reading →

Flawed…and owning it

P:S: This is not one of those sugar coated narratives about accepting yourself the way you are. That said, I woke up yesterday and did a census of the acne on my face, I was heartbroken.  I have enjoyed relatively... Continue Reading →

On study breaks and mental perambulations

I wonder why bats come out only at night. I think to write a bat story, but I have not done fiction this year.

There is nothing like fallen breasts

Just when you think the ridiculous arguments of where, why, when and how to breastfeed is over, some women are told that their breasts have fallen.

The little things

"Mommy, you have to come for our art exhibition, my painting is up" But you see, Lagos living is not wired to enable you take three hours off work, after returning from a recent three hours off work for immunization... Continue Reading →

The get-to-know-me tag

My first best friend was a pretty muslim girl, who was my seat partner in a catholic primary school...

‘SAHM’ ‘WM’…Can we just forget about these tags?

If a 'SAHM' was paid a salary, would people think differently?

Where do you draw the line?

Know when it is no longer working, know when to stop, don't let that horse drop dead beneath you.

D.N.D (Do Not Drown)

Growing up is a trick, if you can, don't. If you have, let us find a corner to go and cry off the steam, I'll bring tissues...

Who are we being strong for?

One of the most excruciating things to watch, is your child, sick. I realise daily, that with rearing toddlers, there is no balance. The house is chaotic half the time, and you are running about settling fights and tidying up.... Continue Reading →

My Monologues

10.  On Homeworks So, I was really thrilled at the last P.T.A meeting (my childrens' school have fancy name for it, but I sorta want to stick to what it was called in my time), when it was announced that... Continue Reading →

How my dead clock taught me death and dying.

Warning: Words such as death and dying occur frequently in this piece. An igbo proverb says, that when a man passes by people bearing another man's corpse, it looks as if it is mere wood they carry. These words were... Continue Reading →

Nutritional hide and seek

Selflessness,selfishness,motherhood

FlashFiction: Severed

Severed Her soul curled at the foot of her bed, foetal position. Not that souls in pain curled in any other manner. She tried to cry herself out of the grime, but it heaped, fast, like the bricks from a... Continue Reading →

In the Club; Some of us are not here to dance

Places that people go to for recreation and fun are like streams to me. Some of us are there to bath, some, to swim, some are there to fetch water, but it's the one same stream. If anyone saw me... Continue Reading →

According to Chika: Next month is not assured

Chika is not a Pastor or soothsayer. She cannot even be one, too pretty for the business calling. And I know her, she will be rotating her sexy bowlegs and peering at you with eyes that hold attention. But today... Continue Reading →

Achalugo writes: On baby nose and bum shapings.

Today, I shall come as I am. For posts of this nature, I like to do some research, but not today. My mother didn't let me be over my children's noses. "Pull that nose" I have written that in plain... Continue Reading →

HOW TO: Styling your baby-girl’s afro hair

I thought I survived the busy weekend scotfree, till I looked at 100Watt's hair a few minutes before they left for school. I had zero time to braid or style. So here is a pretty quick fix; Dampen hair with... Continue Reading →

Teeth Tale Thursday

"Why are all your body parts falling apart?" That was my Boss' tease when I asked for two days off, so I could get my eyeglasses replaced and take care of some cavities. That was two weeks ago. Here are... Continue Reading →

Five tips you should keep in mind about homeworks

Who remembers 'Understanding Mathematics?' That thing terrified me in Primary school. The first time TheBoss brought it home, I was legit nervous and slightly shaken from past trauma. I think I was one of those people born never to love... Continue Reading →

On Mazes and Pencils…a mini rant on keeping your parenting business to yourself

For people who are not fans of the social media, one point they repeatedly raise in trying to assert the disadvantages, is that a number of people post photos or status updates to soothe some attention seeking parts of themselves.... Continue Reading →

The Wages of Motherhood is…a few broken treasures

I like Style statements, not the neck breaking ones, the ones that people can see a headless photo of you and still say "That is you". Or to be able to flip through a fashion magazine and say "Daniella would... Continue Reading →

“My mom doesn’t want your advice!” said a little child

You look very stupid when you correct my childrens' super hero in their front. I am Mommy, therefore, that puzzled look they give you is a very simple 'what rubbish is this person on about?'.

Humans of Lagos

Humans of Lagos. "I had riden over two hours, before I decided that I really had to keep this memory. It is not everyday a babe can cycle in lagos, Nigeria. Why? Because between Danfo*, Keke*, Okada*, one will definitely... Continue Reading →

My Oven and I: A true narrative on facing our fears

Today, I did something I haven't done in two years and I felt like a bird set free from its cage Tigress released from captivity. I opened my Oven...

What pocket money meant then…and now

If you think this is an economic post, about how inflation and increase in everything has made a mockery of pocket money value, sorry to disappoint you. I know some of you used N5 to buy three Galas and two... Continue Reading →

Spell Tired: A-c-h-a-l-u-g-o

This used to be a joke between my friends and I, during my undergraduate days. It is much more fun to watch us act it out, so I'm afraid the meaning may be lost to a few. Very simple o.... Continue Reading →

Mommy know thy role…and to thy role be true

I have gotten to that point in parenthood, where your kids are old enough to emotionally blackmail you. "Mommy, I won't play with you again" You better not think that is a meaningless threat, it works wonders. You just feel... Continue Reading →

What has number five got to do with anything?

What has the number five got to do with anything?  Anticipate! Achalugo

The way to a man’s heart…begins from the market

I engage in Food porn. I chase recipes up and down like no man's business. I want to add more ways to my twenty ways to cook Egusi, ten ways to prepare Oha, I like my Ofe Owerri having some... Continue Reading →

How to do when all your kids are asleep

A rarerity just occured a few hours ago. All my kids are asleep At      the           same               time! I had a very good feeling that it would last long, tears of joy. So I quickly thought to share... Continue Reading →

How Ogiri nearly put Kabiyesi in trouble

The secrets of the kitchen have been revealed to the women mostly by the gods, that is why sometimes a man will enter your kitchen and just misbehave.

Achalugo, Bras and Chocolates (ABC)

Over the years, enjoying my cravings and junk has proved harder than ABC. From dragging meat in soup with Kabiyesi, to having to hear that panic inducing "Mommy, cut for me" "Mommy, pour for me" A woman cannot have edible... Continue Reading →

Losing weight; the mouth style

I use my mouth to whine about getting the tommy firmer, the most exercise I do(if it counts), is those few seconds of sucking belle.

Dividends of Mommacracy

I should have taken a photo of myself in my Khaki and baby carrier to match this post now that I think of it, let me not dwell on the past. However, confess, some of you people look at corpers... Continue Reading →

Chaos is beautiful

My mom scowled at the 'Dirt is good' campaign for the Omo detergent years back. Not that she did not believe Omo could wash off all those stains as claimed, she was bothered with the message they were telling kids.... Continue Reading →

How I Won the Shit Packing Award

My selling point is this--->I pack it with grace and an enviable mien of normalcy

Oga, We Are Not Pregnant Abeg

"The man who says we are pregnant may challenge me years later and claim Omugwo rights" -Ani, goddess of fertility (1921)   For most people, the joys of double lines on a urine test strip catapults them to the top... Continue Reading →

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