On page 45 of the parenting book I may never write, you would find paragraphs and paragraphs of this ridiculous behaviour of others.
I do not guarantee that you won’t always feel pained when your parenting is judged.
From the moment your pregnancy bump is visible, take note, you become everyone’s business. After you have the baby? Not any better.
Whilst you may grow tough skin against unsolicited opinion, I do not guarantee that you won’t always feel pained when your parenting is judged.
I used to find this utterly annoying, I still do, but I am glad I am saturating my mindset with the requisite antidote and/or ignore button.
There are only two ways of raising a child that should be important to you
The scenarios are numerous, from the unmarried friend who drops insensitive comments about your children’s lego littering the place, to the random stranger who tells you your child is spoilt because they are crying for candy in a Super Market, to the one who compares their child with yours.
I recently sat through a conversation where a mother was fat shaming another one who still had baby fat from her pregnancy
“Ohh my tommy had gone in by xyz time, you just like food, blablabla”
Who is awarding medals?
I recall how irritated I was when someone passed her unsolicited comment on how I was wrong for breastfeeding my child beyond a year. These are the same people who make make another mom feel horrible for formula feeding, that isn’t any making of hers.
I had a family friend visiting from the abroad, and I was pretty excited to meet her children finally apart from video calls. They land the airport and don’t go too far when an ameebo interjects
“They don’t speak yoruba?”
My friend looks lost
“This is the problem with you lost souls in America, you are a failure if your child cannot speak yoruba. They are not the first to be born and bred there…” and this rant goes on and on.
What a welcome! The funny thing is that a person might actually have a message as clean in intention as spring water, but put it in a dirty glass? Repulsive, prone to rejection.
Never let anyone make you feel that you are not a good enough mother or father
There are only two ways of raising a child that should be important to you;
*the way you were raised
*the way you raise your own children
The manner and style of ANY OTHER parent is not your business. Close your eyes and count 1-10, the urge to barge in with your uninvited opinion should subside. If symptoms persist, leave the arena.
Criticism served in any other manner but constructive has proven time and time again to be tasteless.
Never let anyone make you feel that you are not a good enough mother or father.
Be very intolerant of people who take the extra and jump straight to your child to shout at them or beat them. It doesn’t matter if they are family, infact, relatives take the cup in doing this -put them in their place.
Most times you would see them and their shortcomings and look away o, let them reciprocate kwanu? Mba
This parenting journey, we actually would fare better learning from eachother
Something I realised also, never allow it linger. They bring the lame argument that if you express your dislike, you might miss out on some better advice tomorrow. Lie! Chances are that a person who offers you criticism in a very nasty manner will repeat it, so set them straight right away.
people who constantly judge your parenting are unappointed judges
People who do this should take a break, really. It puts a strain on your relationship with others, no one likes to be around a person who constantly talks them down.
You do not shine by dimming another’s light. Often times another person is the epitome of everything you are not. They seem to succeed where you have failed, and a bitter approach would be to constantly faultfind them. Pleasure derived from bringing others down is fleeting in nature.
This parenting journey, we actually would fare better learning from eachother, not being stuck in our own ways and thinking we are the brightest around.
A parent has a lot going on mentally and physically, if you must, correct with love.
And you momma, people who constantly judge your parenting are unappointed judges -this is the twin brother of bullies, so I tell you, stand up to them.