Mrs. Felicia Egbuche, @niftychic, writes from Lagos. When she isn’t dividing her attention between her husband and son, you can find working wonders on clients with an assortmemt of powders and brushes. She blogs at http://www.niftynobby.wordpress.com
I was going through a blog, the WM blogger wrote about a silly comment a colleague made about her decision to work, and I came across these tags SAHM, WM, etc.
These two tags caught my attention. For those who don’t know what they mean, SAHM means “stay at home mom” and WM means “working mom”.
It’s quite infuriating when I see tags as these, they are every bit judgemental. First and foremost, what exactly is the point mothers are driving at with these titles? Is there meant to be a trophy per category? In the bid to classify ourselves, we forget the thing that binds us —-> the mom part of it all.
We should be concerned about our titles as mothers and not what stands you apart from other mothers.
Motherhood is “NOT A RACE” of who is the best at it or who carries on more responsibility than the other. I feel the need to point, being a ‘SAHM’ or ‘WM’ does not make one less or more of a mother.
The modern day working mom struggles with the guilt of, and is accused of leaving her responsibility to a caregiver/house help/nanny.
On the flipside, the stay at home mom is accused of being overly dependent on her husband for finances and is given the bad eye (get something doing).
Please can someone tell me what exactly running after, cleaning up after, feeding, screaming at, teaching a baby or toddler round the clock is?
If a SAHM was paid a salary, would people think differently?
In my opinion, I think the condemnation stems from both sides and would just say it is part of life. Whatever one does, is more often than not, subject to praise or condemnation.
In the grand analysis, “To each his own……. “.
I have resolved to be happy with my life’s choices and never letting anyone’s ill meaning comments bother me (oh, I must add…. Being a sharp tongued lady that I can be, I do not hesitate to put you in your place before forgetting you exist, talk less of the comment, lol).
So, what side of the divide am I on? I am a “SAHM” and proudly so It is a very stressful job, but I am happy to be taking these steps with my baby.
Now imagine a ‘WM’ who has to face work, traffic stress and still come home to her number one job.
To sum it up, I am a MOTHER……
Women need to just stop with all these tags, appreciate and encourage each other. Keep being a super mom and if you are yet to be a mom, one advice, make your life’s choices and never feel you owe anyone an explanation.
I look forward to reading your experiences below.