Where do you draw the line?

If you thought Motherhood was about giggling into the face of a chubby infant and getting smiles and drools in return, you are …not wrong. You just do not have the big picture.

Motherhood is hiding under the bed to munch a piece of cake, and giving it up when you are found,with a huge pretentious ‘it-is-not-paining-me’ smile on your face.

I listened to a group of graduands at a recently held convocation ceremony and this statement struck me

“This programme stressed her ehn, she had three miscarriages, but she has finally graduated”

Alleluia shrieks rent the air.

I strongly believe that a woman’s body is hers, and her decisions do not concern you. Like a woman wants to have seven children? Unlook. A woman refuses to breastfeed? Unlook. Especially if like me, you abhor people’s nostrils in your business. The golden rule always works -mind your business as you would like others to mind theirs.

So this is not an opinion giving article. I am here to ask questions, this time.

What are these sacrifices we make over our families? Why would someone go through a Master’s degree program and suffer recurrent miscarriages? Between the pregnancy and the education, which of these couldn’t take the backseat since coexistence was proving impossible?

Why are there women leaving her infants to return to strenous jobs? Because they have no choices, sometimes -This is a reality. I would like to think that a lot of mothers want to nurse and bond with their infants, but what they desire and their options are on two separate lanes.

What works for you in the balancing analysis? I told myself from the onset ‘something gotta give’. I had dropped some courses back in school, to enable me balance family and school. I remember some people saying ‘Oh just pack them all, even if you get a pass’. I am very allergic to mediocre performance, it’s outstanding or not, no in-betweens. This is every area of my life, including my parenting.

So sometimes, the family suffers a little, or your job suffers a little,or your studies suffer a little, and this is okay.

What isn’t, woman, is that one suffers immeasurably because of the other. Know when it is no longer working, know when to stop, don’t let that horse drop dead beneath you.

Remain strong,
Achalugo.

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5 thoughts on “Where do you draw the line?

  1. Hmmmn.
    Very valid.
    The balancing act women have to do, the many sacrifices they have to make, the limited options available…
    Grace and strength to all women wearing multiple hats in terms of responsibilities. They are the real MVPs.
    Happy Mother’s Day Acha, God bless you ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Motherhood is hiding under the bed to munch a piece of
    cake, and giving it up when you are found,with a huge
    pretentious โ€˜it-is-not-paining-meโ€™ smile on your face.”

    I saw my mum do this, I saw her do a lot of things in the name of sacrifice for us but the truth remains that some women do not know where to draw the line because they thy have “Super-Human Complex” but like you said something has got to give.

    Thanks for being so honest here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely agree with Kammy. Some women are willing to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders if you let them!
      One definitely needs to set one’s priorities and work from there. As we get older in life we have more and more things to balance so something will fall by the way side and that’s completely okay. We as women at times we need to take a step back and re-evaluate ourselves and our lives because no one else will do it for us!

      We can not come and kill ourselves abeg!

      Like

  3. I’ve been very ill, and your blog has been a balm. I’m at one moment a lizard, bobbing my head in agreement with the nuggets from your lips….and then I’m a jackal heaving with laughter. You are so gifted.

    Like

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