The Wages of Motherhood is…a few broken treasures

I like Style statements, not the neck breaking ones, the ones that people can see a headless photo of you and still say “That is you”. Or to be able to flip through a fashion magazine and say “Daniella would wear that”.

If you come across a bare wrist lady in a magazine, that would/could be me. I gave up on wristwatches, wristbands, bangles and the likes a long time ago. It didn’t sit well with me watching them hang on my slim wrist.

I bent this rule for a lovely white wristwatch I saw last year. It was white, and that’s like 80% reason to love already. I passed it five times, and if you know that one of the biggest pains you could  go through at home post shopping is the ‘I-should-have-bought-that’ pain, you would understand why I bought it on the 6th attempt to pass by.

Of course it didn’t fit. But they neatly took some chains off and it looked like it was made just for me. Voila! I bought my first wristwatch in over five years.

I wore that wristwatch on everything, I didn’t care for another.

The children fell in love with it as well, and that began the journey to describing this watch in past tense.

The blackmail was first executed in church, these children know how embarassed you could be if they wail in church. So I was paying attention jejely when 100Watts goes

“Mommy, TheBoss is beating me”.

I smile. “What should I do?”

She replied with a big grin “Give me your watch”.

:o:o:o

But I wanted Peace, I gave her. It fell in a scuffle between her and her brother minutes after then.

I noticed nothing, till I tried to check the time weeeeeeks later and realised it was over four hours late. My friend seemed to have noticed before then that the knob you use to set the time had been long gone.

I remembered the fall and counted my losses. I could still wear it, sebi it is only time it is not telling, I shrugged to myself.

So last sunday,I had an all white ensemblé and began to hunt for my darling watch.

Not in Jewellery box = Panic

So I ask Kabiyesi, who offers with a grin

“I told you to always keep your things in their right places, you don’t understand the gravity of your Motherhood and children”

Big grammar, summarily informing me that the worse may have happened, as well subtly implying that he must have played a rescue role.

When you are late for church, you shouldn’t be playing semantics, which is why I smiled

“Can I have my watch,please?”

I recalled leaving it on the sofa where I had slumped tiredly into sleep, the night before.

He produced the Carcass Watch.

image
I arranged it Shoki style for it's last picture, some last respects,kinda...

My oxygen supply cut.

I have never seen a watch come apart the way this one did. I really should have taken a closer picture from the top, but that isn’t safe these days. You would see the make of the Watch, and I might make blog headlines or comments like

“Hey, that gentle Kabiyesi o, that yellow pawpaw he married will wound him, did you see her watch? Are the children eating? I thought he was a prudent man o, but see his wife’s watch, tufia!”

I heard TheBoss and 100watts had dropped it in a scuffle, and it had landed on the tiled floor. What can a woman do? Beat them? Children are almost always innocent.

I have beads that were yanked off by a baby and broken into a thousand pieces, I have my white walls decorated in all sort of crayon colors (and really, I dont care how unsightly anyone wants to think that), I have holes and lacerations in my chairs from Pencils and biros ( I care a bit more about this,  but not enough to change the set just yet), I remember my first Blackberry phone being thrown into the toilet bowl by TheBoss and how happy he looked when he flushed.

I remember when 100watts got hold of my makeup bag and the earnest house scrubbing that ensued. I swallowed my hurt and brought out my camera to take a picture. Is it the N1000 note they shredded once?

I came across this and found it hilariously true.

image

No matter the amount of policing you do, I realise that these things are bound to happen.

You better smile and remember not to tell your mother. If she is like mine, you can hear

“Ehen! do you know how many of mine you broke?”

I don’t know, Mommy, did you have a pretty white wristwatch that you really liked?

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5 thoughts on “The Wages of Motherhood is…a few broken treasures

  1. Nne, this post was heavily spiced with humour, I kept on chuckling.
    Lol @ “children are almost always innocent”

    You sabi dance atilogwu with words o, I love how this post started, how you drew the reader in.

    Regarding style statements, I’d pick style over trend most times. I recently made the curled african threaded hairdo (pic is on my blog).

    It’s easily the best protective hairstyle I’ve ever done, as my ends were nicely tucked away. The comments from people kept me nicely amused for the entire 3 weeks 🙂

    Like

  2. I shall try a lot more,travelled and used icecream to build my own writer’s block. Let’s see how it goes now. Thanks about the watch, and that card woukd make a fine car sticker

    Like

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