I slept off last night in the sittingroom surrounded by a half eaten bar of *white toblerone* chocolate,Ribena,half drunk bottle of mirinda,bottle of vodka,chewing gum and all other assorted munchy I add weekly to my TGIF home-made cinema party content.
This is what I do now on most friday nights. This is not because of the kids or being married,the Lord forbid that I ever make it look like married folks (especially the moms) do not catch some fun. But you see, the mental mathematics of which of my sisters will come and babysit so I can go out on a friday night, the outrageously priced drinks at the clubs,the security of your life or car at night, the evil eyes some females will use to look at your slim physique (not caring that you eat all the fufu you see and hope your body system directs the aftermath to your hips) all these have made me open a Silverbird Cinema branch at home.
I was unlucky last night,the movies were either stale or lame. So I wake up this morning and just the bottle of vodka is beside me,this brings us to the crux of the matter;
WHO ROBBED ME LAST NIGHT?
Lets build the crime theory.
1. 100watts is below the age of one year and can only drool at the sight if whatever I eat. What she doesnt get offered stays only a salivating oppression mommy has put her through.
2. Kabiyesi and the Boss are not Vodka fans-so you see, the Vodka was untouched…no finger prints sef.
3. Every other thing missing are things the aforementionned males have begged me for collectively and individually and I said NO.
The chocolate specie above was asteriked for two reasons;
a. I do not like chocolates, I can only stand the said chocolate because it is white, super delicious and makes me feel like a genius who discovered the legal alternative to weed.
b. Anybody who loves Kabiyesi and his son and wishes to bail them from this trouble they have entered may visit with a few packs of the said chocolate
…after which I may smile and pretend nothing happened.